How to deal with that feeling of being stuck
Plus tips on how to get unstuck from certified life coach Cynthia Muthyala
The first month of the new year is over, and it feels kind of negative to talk about being stuck, and how to get unstuck. After all, aren’t we supposed to be positive, optimistic and productive?
And yet here we are, because I know that some people do find themselves in this state and would maybe like to hear more. Are you one of them?
If you’re looking for another perspective (or want to be reminded of what you already know so you can finally act on it), I have Cynthia Muthyala – a Singapore-based certified life coach who “helps women build a life they want and truly deserve”, and is always up for a meaningful conversation and challenge.
So let’s get to it and lay it all out, so you can start processing your “stuck” thoughts and feelings today.
Are you stuck?
Cynthia cites the obvious and not-so-obvious signs.
“Obvious signs of being stuck are like neon signs – a consistent lack of progress, a negative outlook, routine turning into a snoozefest, withdrawing from social scenes, and a habit of delaying things,” she says.
“The not-so-obvious signs are like sly ninjas – physical symptoms (like unexpected fatigue), getting super sensitive to criticism, a fear of shaking things up, the sudden perfectionism bug, and constantly juggling way too many responsibilities.
“It’s this mix of the loud and the sneaky cues that often paints the picture of someone feeling a bit stuck or caught in a rut.”
What are some of the reasons for us being stuck?
Cynthia has come across a few from different people and during the course of her practice.
“When people chat about feeling stuck, it often boils down to a few familiar culprits – unclear goals, the fear of failure, and the sweet embrace of routine comfort,” she observes.
“Throw in external pressures, negative thinking, and some lacklustre relationships, and you’ve got a full plate of reasons. Burnout, feeling swamped, and financial tight spots only add to the mix, while procrastination works as both the cause and the symptom.
“We need to do the hard work,” she stresses.
“Helping folks get unstuck is a bit of an art. It’s about setting goals that actually mean something, navigating through the pressures life throws at us, and building up that resilience muscle. This requires some self-reflection, a supportive crew, and kicking procrastination to the curb – that’s the recipe for shaking off the stuck vibes and cruising towards some genuine personal and professional growth.”
What are the toughest parts about being stuck?
“The trickiest part about feeling stuck is that sense of being stuck in the mud, where you want to move forward but it feels like your shoes are glued,” Cynthia answers.
“That stuck feeling messes with your relationships, puts a dent in career happiness, and throws shade on your overall well-being. When we experience fear of taking a leap or making decisions, we experience a mental roadblock that says, ‘Hold up, what if things go south?’ and keeps folks from trying new stuff or levelling up.
“Now, let’s talk about the comfort of the known – the good old routine,” she continues.
“It’s like a cosy blanket that’s tough to toss aside. But breaking away from that familiarity can feel like staring at a mountain. And oh, the external pressures! Society and workplaces sometimes act like strict teachers, giving you a tight schedule that doesn’t sync with your dreams.
“Getting unstuck? It’s about busting through these mental and external walls, getting comfortable with change, and flexing that resilience muscle to tackle whatever hurdles come your way.”
What tips or steps can we use to address and recognise that we are, indeed, stuck?
How do we go through the experience of being stuck, and eventually becoming unstuck? And how do we get back on track?
#1 When you sense that sticky feeling, acknowledge it
“Regular self-reflection is your ally – notice patterns, discontent, or a lack of progress. Seek external perspectives too; a fresh set of eyes can provide valuable insights,” Cynthia advises.
#2 Once recognised, dive into the root causes
“Understand the why behind the stagnation.”
#3 Acceptance
“Embrace where you are without judgment.”
#4 To get unstuck, set realistic goals, celebrate small victories, and explore new perspectives
“It’s like shaking up a snow globe – change the scenery. Engage in learning and development, pick up a new hobby, or rediscover a passion. Reach out to your support network; they’re your anchors.”
#5 Adjust your expectations, learn from the experience, and set achievable goals
“It’s about the journey, not just the destination. So in this rollercoaster of life, remember: You’ve got the tools to turn stuck moments into stepping stones. Keep rocking, and enjoy the ride!”
Can being stuck be a positive thing?
I, for one, think that we can look at it in a better light, and that we shouldn’t necessarily be afraid of it.
“Being stuck can indeed be viewed as a positive and transformative phase in one’s life,” Cynthia agrees.
“It serves as a signal that prompts self-reflection and encourages individuals to reassess their goals, values and priorities. This period of reflection can lead to newfound clarity about personal aspirations and a deeper understanding of one’s self.
“Additionally, feeling stuck can be a catalyst for change, motivating individuals to step out of their comfort zones, explore new opportunities, and foster resilience in the face of challenges. It presents a chance for personal growth, learning, and the development of coping mechanisms that contribute to a more enriched and fulfilled life.
“Instead of fearing being stuck, individuals should recognise it as a natural part of the journey towards self-discovery and improvement,” she goes on.
“Embracing this phase with an open mindset allows for the acceptance of imperfection and the acknowledgment that challenges are integral to personal development. By reframing the experience as an opportunity for positive change and growth, individuals can navigate through feeling stuck with curiosity and determination rather than fear, ultimately emerging stronger and more resilient on the other side.”
So what habits can we start to help us avoid being stuck?
Cynthia encourages us to try the following:
#1 Develop proactive habits
“Adopting a mindset of continuous learning and setting clear, achievable goals help provide direction and purpose in both personal and professional spheres. Effective time management, coupled with regular self-reflection, ensures that progress is regularly assessed, allowing for adjustments and celebrating victories, no matter how small.
“Additionally, building a support network and seeking mentorship foster a sense of community and guidance during challenging times. Engaging in activities that promote well-being, such as regular exercise, mindfulness practices, and keeping a gratitude journal contributes to mental clarity and resilience, preventing stagnation.
“I’m a huge believer in vision boards and manifestation. Say what you want out loud and share it. Before you know it, things will start to change.”
#2 Embrace change and be open to new experiences to prevent stagnation
“This includes challenging yourself to step out of your comfort zone and explore different perspectives. A commitment to maintaining a healthy work-life balance, setting boundaries, and regularly reassessing personal values and priorities contributes to a dynamic and fulfilling life.
“By consistently incorporating these habits into daily routines, individuals can create a foundation for ongoing personal growth, reducing the likelihood of feeling stuck in various aspects of life.”
On the other hand, though: What habits and things do we unconsciously do that lead us to feeling stuck?
Fear is a factor, as Cynthia points out.
#1 One common pattern is succumbing to the fear of failure, which often leads to procrastination and avoidance of decision-making
“This fear can prevent individuals from taking risks and exploring new opportunities, fostering a mindset of stagnation.”
#2 Settling into a routine of negative self-talk and focusing on perceived limitations can create mental barriers
“This hinders the pursuit of personal and professional growth.”
#3 Resistance to change and a preference for the familiar
“Choosing comfort over challenge may lead to a reluctance to step out of established routines, preventing individuals from embracing new experiences that could foster development.”
#4 Constant comparison to others, particularly in the age of social media
“It can cultivate a sense of inadequacy and hinder one’s focus on personal goals and aspirations.”
Are you guilty of the above?
And if so, which tools does Cynthia recommend to keep our minds clear?
#1 Use those apps
“There are so many apps right at your fingertips for meditation, including Mindspace, Ten Percent Happier and Calm,” she says.
“For journalling, there’s Day One, Momento and Penzu. A quick Google search will provide many more. These apps make it easy to practise mindfulness regularly.”
#2 Breathe
“A few minutes of breathwork can also work wonders in clearing mental clutter. It’s like hitting the reset button for your brain.”
#3 Write
“Don’t underestimate the power of good old pen and paper. Journalling allows you to dump your thoughts onto the page, giving you a clearer picture of what might be causing that stuck feeling and helping you navigate through it.”
#4 Stay active
“This is a game-changer. Whether it’s a brisk walk, a workout, or a dance session in your living room, moving your body releases those feel-good endorphins that can lift your mood and break the mental stagnation.”
#5 Foster genuine connections with the people around you
“Engaging in meaningful conversations, sharing experiences, and seeking support from friends, family or mentors can provide fresh perspectives and help you see beyond any roadblocks,” she concludes.
“So mix and match these tools based on what suits your style, and let them be your allies in keeping the mental fog at bay!”
Get-unstuck tools at work
Here’s what Cynthia personally does and has on hand to power through.
#1 A vision board
“I actively incorporate what I preach into my daily routine. Each day, I look at my vision board, a tangible reminder of my aspirations.”
#2 A gratitude journal
“I maintain a gratitude journal placed by my bedside to foster a positive mindset.”
#3 A smile
“A recent habit of mine involves wearing a gentle smile throughout the day,” she admits.
“It’s remarkable how this simple act transforms interactions – making eye contact with strangers often leads to shared smiles, creating an unexpected ripple of positivity.”
There you have it
… a pretty straightforward post about being stuck, and getting unstuck. Hope it helps!
Find Cynthia on Instagram; you can email her too for a discovery session.
Cover photo by Simon Gibson on Unsplash